This is me here on the left , known to yall as Fugly Fatty Batty. Or Betty Powers.  Beautiful Linda is the one on the right. As one can so obviously see in terms of beauty..No contest..

Seems that when I  fell out of that thar  ugly tree , I was a hittin every branch on the way down. One is left wundrin what will happen when Reverend Elmer get's his eyes afixed??????  It's rumored that I is to get some new hoss teefs. I's jes awaitin for a hoss to keel over in this here holler. Then after we feed on it I get's to keep da teefs. Below is ma previous set of Hoss Teefs, afore I crushed them to powder as I parked ma humungous fat ass on  them.

When I was a purty lil thang down here in the holler. I took meself a liking to this fine ole black mayun named Rastus. Decent feller, he had cattaracts.Guess he needed them to. Well you know what that sob knocked me up and left me with a halfie to raise. Some say he was last seen heading south for that thar Mexeecun burder..Some say he is still runnin..If I ever see that sob agin a'll see he gets a lynchin. Anyways this here holler ain't no place to raise a halfie. So me n ma halfie hot footed it to Ohio to find me a simpleton to wed & help me takin care of this here halfie. Anyways I found me a simpleton. Reverend Elmer he's also from down here in the holler. He pushed a broom in that  thar auto plant. We lived up there for 40 long years raised our halfie and had some halfie grands to. On account of her copulating with a halfie to. Anyways we decided when Elmer retired that we would return to this here holler. But I warned our halfie she ain't coming with us. Not unless she let's me tell this here holler folk she's tha maid.! So halfie stayed in Ohio.  

Any Now yall here this here now. This here is ma other  Gransun. Not the halfie one. He is a real live biziness mayun. Yes siree he even has hiz own offus, as fine a place as you'll find down here in the holler. This ahere is him acooking up some fancy deal in that thar offus. A mighty smart feller he iz to.

  The following is ma  family givin a lectuh on furrun uffairs.They iz reel edumucated .

 Thas here movin pitcher below is ma family when that thar mooselem gat electud. Gloom Duspair n aguny on may

Seems I need to tell yall somein  bout respect im 81 years old guess what you just made ma lose ma faith you dont no nothin bout us rednecks so why dont you just lave as lone. I jes love that Obama Mayun. His Tarp saved my dear Elmer's GM pension. Without that I would be back in the arms of that scoundrel Rastus..Too old to get knocked up now though!